With the big day approaching, it’s time for the men to make some decisions, and I don’t mean Brian Burke taking out his trash on trade deadline day.
No, it’s almost Valentine’s Day, that one day (hour) of the year when the wives have attention lavished on them with thoughtful, expensive presents. And God knows I’ve spent enough time in the card aisle 15 minutes before closing on Valentine’s/birthday/anniversary day, but this year I’ve really topped myself.
I mean anybody (except me) could thoughtlessly buy the expensive roses, chocolate and fancy (table cloth) dinner out, but this year I’ve decided to do something she’ll really remember. The only problem is, which ice fishing trip should I choose?
I mean, obviously any woman would be over the moon to receive a piece of paper on Valentine’s Day, complete with brochure, describing what frozen lake she’ll be taking in the sights on while hunched over a hole surrounded by like-minded and well-lubricated fishing buddies?
But it is picking just the right romantic ice getaway that I need advice on, since each of the packages in my handy copy of “Ontario Out of Doors” has unique features guaranteed to turn a woman’s head (in some direction).
But how is a man to know what is nearest and dearest to a woman’s heart? Is it the ad that features cozy items such as “central shower,” and “tables and chairs,” or would “live bait available,” and “drinking water” be more likely to make her go gooey?
Or maybe it’s the little things only a woman would appreciate that are tougher to decide on, such as “in-house heated toilet facility,” “toilet on ice,” or the extra fancy “private toilet.”
And how could any woman resist the mystery and romance of the “adventure huts,” while on the other hand the always popular “cook for yourself” feature may make it unforgettable, since I know cooking on a romantic getaway is always a big hit with the ladies to remind them of home.
And since no romantic adventure is complete without shopping for the love of your life, I haven’t ignored the ad that proclaims “store and gas station nearby,” although the “sleeps eight” feature might also be something that would make it the perfect Valentine’s Day.
Of course, the decision is tougher seeing the ad for the new Bone splitter 225 crossbow, but with another anniversary just down the road, the Bonesplitter’s laser accuracy and shooting power of 370 feet per second will make it the perfect present for a wife just back from her ice fishing trip.